Sunday, June 12, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Trash humpers is a stupid movie. Probably the stupidest movie that I have ever seen. Undeniably, though it is very weird. No one who has seen it can deny that. If it was even creative in the slightest, I would have placed it higher on this list. The fact of the matter is that it's just retards humping trash cans for 2 hours, and the worst part is that it won the DOX Award at the Copenhagen International Documentary Festival. If you've seen 5 minutes of Trash Humpers, you've essentially seen the entire movie. I sat through the entire 2 hours. Afterwards I thought to myself, "Well, that is 2 hours of my life that I can never get back."
Probably the most well known of all the weirdest directors, David Lynch set the bar high for himself when he made this movie. It took 5 years to produce and destroyed his marriage in the process. At the end of the day, it's actually about the strength of a father's love, but the trick to understand that involves actually watching the movie! Between the horrors of his inudstrial surroundings, his nightmarish relationship, and the screams of his mutant and eraser-shaped-head mutant-child, the saga of Henry Spencer is not likely to make anything but the strongest impression on its viewers.
Friday, June 3, 2011
May Dove Canady is a weird, unpopular kid who has a lazy eye. The troubled childhood she suffers as a result is the cause of her creating her only friend, a glass encased doll named Suzie. Her mother tells her "if you can't find a friend, make one." This advice is taken literally by May, who spends the later part of the movie removing all the "perfect" parts of her friends and then sewing them into an upgraded friend, the Frankenstein-esque Amy. To bring Amy to life she gouges out her lazy eye and inserts it into her beloved creation, bringing her to life as the credits roll. I found myself, in spite of it all, to be strangely attracted to May. Not altogether surprising, hopefully to the composer of this list.
In this film, a Vietnam war veteran named Jacob Singer (played by Tim Robbins) is finding his life become a series of unending nightmares. As a result of being administered a mind control drug referred to as "Ladder" during his tour in Vietnam he starts having flashbacks of a terrifying and potent nature. The movie opens with Jacob and his soldier buddies sitting in the Mekong Delta smoking a fat joint. It is implied that that is how they got the drug. Anyways, the enemy attacks, the whole troop goes crazy, and they basically start tearing each other to pieces. Jake takes a bayonet in the guts and the movie flashes to his adult life in NYC. I tried to watch this film on acid at a friend's house in '98. A group of us tried to watch it and we got just about to the part with the creepy old lady on the subway before we shut it off. In any case, Jake gets the job as a postal worker and marries a demonic mexican. He finds himself being attacked by malevolent and strange creatures who seem to be in some way connected to the government and the drug given to him and his buddies in Vietnam all those years ago. This movie has a surprise ending which I do not wish to give away, and to describe it further would be to risk that. What I can say for sure is that I do not recommend watching this movie on acid. The events of this movie are partially modelled on reality. The CIA did a series of experiments very similar to this called MKUltra in the 1960s.
There comes a point in these sort of movies where explanation runs dry, where language itself becomes a barrier. Some things are too strange to be adequately described, like a strong LSD esperience. The director (Karim Hussain) did an excellent job of spotting that key moment in Subconscious Cruelty.
Produced in 1929 by the father of surrealism, Salvador Dali, Un Chien Andalou (The Andalusian Dog) features a dream-like sequence in which a woman's eye is slit open - juxtaposed with a similarly shaped cloud obscuring the moon, which is moving in the same direction as the knife's through the eye. This grabbed my attention quite fast, and I found the literal exhibition of the French phrase "ants in the palms" (meaning that someone is itching to kill) to be creative in the most disturbing fashion. Whether or not the movie actually means anything or even has a plot is a matter of personal opinion.
Imagine that the whole world's gone crazy, that science has opened Pandora's box, and that our planet is only a bomb or two away from becoming a desolate wasteland. If you succeed then you'll find yourself in the setting of this movie. Two elderly British people are stuck in their home, tucked neatly away in the center of a radioactive fallout zone. The sight of people who reminded me of my parents, being consumed by radiation from the inside out, and hearing the music of Roger Waters as it's soundtrack was one of the saddest things I've ever seen in my entire life. This is not a movie I'll be viewing a second time.
Back in the day, before he'd permanently ruined his reputation as a serious director of horror movies with crap like the movie Scream, Wes Craven directed one of the most brutal and shocking movies of it's (or any other) time. Mari Collingwood is a young girl who plans to celebrate her 17th birthday attending a concert with her friends. On her way, she hears on the radio of a recent prison escape involving a violent set of offenders and serial killers. After the show, they run into them randomly while trying to score some weed. They are taken out to the woods near Mari's own home, forced to piss in their pants, and shot in the head in one of the most saddening acts of brutality ever put on screen. The gang ends up at the Collingwood's home, asking for permission to spend the night. One of them has Mari's peace medal, given to her earlier that day as a birthday present. Her parents figure out what has taken place based on that and exact a bloody awful revenge. The mother gnaws off the one guy's johnson. Jesus...
The Marquis de Sade is an author remembered chiefly for his attempt to create a literal chronologue of every known perversion. In this movie, director Pier Paolo Pasolini places some of the worst ones on the screen and into cinematic history. It's the story of four wealthy and corrupt fascist libertines, who spend their post-Mussolini days kidnapping and torturing a total of eighteen different teenage boys and girls. They proceed to spend the next 120 days subjecting them to the most extreme and yet sublime sadistic urges boiling in their twisted souls. This film is rated the 65th scariest movie ever made by the Chicago Film Critics Association in 2006, and this in spite of the fact that it's not even typically considered a horror film. Pier Pasolini, who created it was murdered shortly before its release. A tragic footnote to a tragic movie.